Good Day!

Good Day to You All,

Just woke up.  No Pain Mentally and or Physically.  My wife is still asleep.  Wow does she snores.  I’m sure she would say the same about me when i’m sleeping.

Looking forward to going to work.  Just looked a Google now to see my commute time.  Not good.  looks like there are various accidents reported along my route.  may need to leave early.  we will see.  I don’t want to move right now.  just saver every moment of what what I am experiencing right now.

I hope all is will within our community.  Of not please comment and lets work together in turning a negative in a positive.

I love you all!

Rain Rain Go Away!!!

Well it’s raining here in the northeast. Something about the rain always makes me feel bad. In addition to my continued depression, the rain makes it worse. I’m happy that I was able to schedule an appointment with my doctor within the week. I need to talk about options. Life should not be this difficult to live.

I want to share with you all a beautiful moment that I experienced last night when I returned home from work. Since my youngest son (4 years old) does not have his own room, he sleeps with us. Anyway when I entered our bedroom, both my wife and son were asleep. A beautiful sight. I love them so much and for that moment, I was cured of my illness. Went upstairs to check in on my other two sons, both asleep. I love them so much. I was happy and proud.

Thanks to you all for your continued support. I enjoy writing this blog. It has helped me put into words what I am experiencing. It truly helps. I’m not alone.

Good Day!

Anxiety / Panic Attacks have been hitting me hard these past few days.  Bad news after bad news.  I feel like I’m being punished by our maker.  What have I done to deserve this.   On top of my Mental Illness I also have to deal with this…  I’m slowly losing the battle.  My will power is slowly fading.  My happiness is slowly becoming a memory.  Today I cried.  😦


Good Morning to You All!

What a difference a day makes. Yesterday I was so stressed out that I almost lost it. Being home with my kids is a joy. My little one want all of my time. I love it. I try to limit his sugar intake as best as I can. Not sure what happened but he was so hyper and energized. Wow!

I try so hard to distract myself so I would not obsess about any one thing. I try so hard because it will disrupt our happy home. My kids does not understand this illness. They don’t understand why I obsess about things. They do know that daddy loves them so much.

Better late then never!

Good morning to you all!

Today was a rough day for me. I almost lost it. If it wasn’t for my wife, I would have had a nervous breakdown. I can’t shake this depression. Why can’t I be happy? We have experience in dealing with our illnesses. We know the warning signs. What are yours? My is as simple as a headache. Everyone at one time or another get done. What’s different about mine is that it begins within my temple and it starts to throb. No pain killer can take it away. Everything goes downhill from there.

My prescription meds are the only drug that corrects this. I take my meds as prescribed however every now and then I relapse. There are times where meds have failed. It happens more now then ever before. Tomorrow I will make an appointment to see my doctor to discuss my current meds and dosages.

I was loosing it today. I thought I was going crazy. I was looking for my dark hole however I could not find it. Depression hurts. It really hurts.