Holidays – Coping Skills & Goals

Good Day to You All, I am not looking forward to the holidays.  I know that today is Christmas eve.  It should mean something to me.  I know that it did many years ago.  I know that somewhere deep …

Source: Holidays – Coping Skills & Goals

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Coping Skills – Rituals Due to OCD

Good Day to You All, It has been a constant struggle to combat the number of daily rituals I must do to find some relief due to OCD.  You know that everything is ok for example “Checking to s…

Source: Coping Skills – Rituals Due to OCD

Beautiful Day Out!! – Scattered Thunder Storms in My Mind!!

Good Day to You All,

It is a Beautiful Day out Today in the Northeast.  Almost 70 Degrees.  Wow!  I can only experience this from in Doors.  I want to go out and enjoy the day however I can’t.  To others who are not Disabled by Mental Illness, this task is very simple.  Open the front door and go out.  Easy enough.  For individuals who suffer from Mental Illness this task can be almost impossible.  One of my Illnesses is Agoraphobia.  I do not feel safe out.  I experience severe anxiety to a point where I would have a Panic Attack.  Multiple Ones.  This is Depilating which keeps me from leaving my home.  This is Horrible.  I’m just afraid.

I forced myself to sit and write this post to you all.  Even though writing this post will take several hours to complete due to my OCD.  I have to check and recheck to insure that I did not offend anyone in my writing.  Again this is Horrible.  Despite the various obstacles that I have to fight off, I do everything in my power to write.  Even if it only brings a smile that may only last for a short time, I experience a feeling a sense of self accomplishment.  This means the world to me.

I am a Father of 3 Beautiful Boys and a Husband to a beautiful wife.  We are struggling to put food on the table and make ends meet.  These obstacles just adds to my anxiety.  I struggle daily to keep thinking positive but it is a fight.  Intrusive thoughts constantly invade my mind.

I am clinging on to Hope…

I constantly remind myself:  “Suicide it a Permeant Solution to a Temporally Problem”…

God Bless you All!!!

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Summer Days :-)

Good Day to You All,

This month has been long for me so far.  I have been trapped in my home until this weekend.  I finally found the strength to get out of bed and deal with the world.  The extra push came from my new Doctor.  For the first time in a long while, I have hope that this world has a place for me.  This Doctor truly wants to help.  I need his help.  I don’t want to be in pain mentally.  Positive thoughts rather then negative.  I guess it is baby steps.

I am going to try and blog a bit more.  Writing does help.  I appreciate all of the comments I have received.  I am not alone.

Always The Bad / Never The Good

Good Day to You All,

Keeping up with a blog is not as easy as it sounds.  Others are better then most if that makes any sense.  I wish that I can write about picture perfect daily events or moments that has brought me great joy.  I question my sanity at times.  How much longer can a person go while feeling blue.  Medication helps but is not a cure.  20 years of pain is horrible for anyone to comprehend.  Writing is not my thing.  I force myself to write because it helps me deal with the pain.  It helps to know that I am not the only human on the planet who is going through this.  I know that I am not alone.  Writing and sharing just helps.

Depression Hurts.  Mentally and Physically!