It turned out to be a beautiful day today. I’m at work. Miss my family especially my little one. He gives me the motivation to continue the fight to tame my illness. I love him so much. He has saved my life. I want to live. I want to be a good father. I want him to be proud of his dad….
It’s going to be a rainy but warm day out today. My mood is good. I’m at home with my son. We are about to get ready to go out. I love being home withy kids. They bring out the joy of being a rather and help bring up my morale. I just took a selfie withy son and sent it to my wife. Wow, selfie, Never thought I would take one.
Today my illness is controlled. Not depressed. It feels good.
Good Day To You All!!!!!
Well it’s raining here in the northeast. Something about the rain always makes me feel bad. In addition to my continued depression, the rain makes it worse. I’m happy that I was able to schedule an appointment with my doctor within the week. I need to talk about options. Life should not be this difficult to live.
I want to share with you all a beautiful moment that I experienced last night when I returned home from work. Since my youngest son (4 years old) does not have his own room, he sleeps with us. Anyway when I entered our bedroom, both my wife and son were asleep. A beautiful sight. I love them so much and for that moment, I was cured of my illness. Went upstairs to check in on my other two sons, both asleep. I love them so much. I was happy and proud.
Thanks to you all for your continued support. I enjoy writing this blog. It has helped me put into words what I am experiencing. It truly helps. I’m not alone.
It is difficult to work when you are having an episode. Episodes can last a minute, hours or days. My Tears want to come out but I’m holding them back. I’m trying so hard to remain strong and beat this. Who will when? Who will have that last say?
I am so depressed. I can’t seem to shake it off…
I don’t know what to do!
Anxiety / Panic Attacks have been hitting me hard these past few days. Bad news after bad news. I feel like I’m being punished by our maker. What have I done to deserve this. On top of my Mental Illness I also have to deal with this… I’m slowly losing the battle. My will power is slowly fading. My happiness is slowly becoming a memory. Today I cried. 😦