Why does this illness drain all over our strength and our will power? I want to be happy. I want to have positive thoughts. I want to be productive. Is it wishful thinking? Today feels like I just been hit over the head with a steel bat. I can’t do anything right. Why did this illness choose me? Why am I being punished. I have a lot to live for. I know that. Today however I feel the exact opposite. God please give me the strength to continue this fight. I need to cross the finish line. Tomorrow I will be with my family at home. Right now that is what is keeping me together.